A while back I was asked for a portrait commission to celebrate a college graduation. This lovely lady was about to make some gigantic changes in her life and really wanted to celebrate the time with a fun photo shoot and we did just that. We both laughed a ton, I brought 4 different cameras (3 film), tried a ton of things, and had the very best time. When it was over, I sat in my car feeling exhilarated because it was so life-giving, yet also felt like I could cry. Because in that moment I realized it was the best I had felt photographing in quite a long time.
I have felt stuck. Boxed in a corner… trapped by other people’s ideals that often haven’t matched or coincided with my own–all to create a means to an end. I have taken work that I should have likely passed onto someone else all to provide for myself and my daughter. And unfortunately the end result is that my love for my craft has felt light years away from my heart. Please don’t get me wrong, I have been incredibly grateful. I have felt blessed and fortunate to be chosen to document precious lives, to interact with amazing couples, kids, and families to give something in return that they can cherish and value for years to come. But it has come with a price, and this particular photo shoot was the eye-opening, lights-on catalyst that helped me realize it.
I’m ready (and excited) to love my art again.
These definitely have growth all over them, excited to see how you take back control over your art. You are so very good at what you do. And I love that feeling too.